Some thoughts on the Great British Freeze of 2010

When icicles hang by the wall
And Dick the shepherd blows his nail,
And Tom bears logs into the hall,
And milk comes frozen home in pail;
When blood is nip't and ways be foul,
Then nightly sings the staring owl,
Tu-whoo!
Tu-whit! Tu-whoo! A merry note!
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.

When all around the wind doth blow,
And coughing drowns the parson's saw,
And birds sit brooding in the snow,
And Marian's nose looks red and raw;
When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl -
Then nightly sings the staring owl
Tu-whoo!
Tu-whit! Tu-whoo! A merry note!
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.

from: Love's Labour's Lost (circa 1593) by William Shakespeare


1593 vs 2010

That was England in 1593. How much things have changed since then! With the central heating turned up full blast you're not going to see many icicles hanging by the wall in your average British house these days.

No self-respecting shepherd calls himself Dick today (for obvious reasons!) It's more likely to be Ricky or Rick.

And as for Tom bearing logs into the hall, it's a non-starter. Nowadays you're probably living in a smokeless zone which prohibits the burning of wood in a built-up area. No logs, I'm afraid!

Everybody knows that milk doesn't come in pails. Any primary schoolchild will tell you that it comes in cartons from the supermarket.

When was the last time you heard an owl? In Britain at least, they're an endangered species.

Pots no longer need to be keeled; we've got microwaves.

One image I really like in this poem. It's Joan being literally covered in animal fat, a tool of her trade as a cook. But I bet she smelt awful!