Ten ways to be happy when you retire

David Wilson has some advice for fellow retirees

Most of us look forward impatiently to the day we can retire. We’re constantly being told that 60 is the new 40, and that we can expect to have between 10 and 20 years of active retirement if we stop working in our sixth decade. Yet the reality doesn’t always live up to the dream. Ill health can stop us abruptly in our tracks. Money is a worry for many. And there’s a big group who just don’t know what to do with all that free time they have when they do finally retire. I left an absorbing jobs as a teacher and company trainer just over two years ago, so I’m still learning how to handle my new-found freedom. But I’m beginning to realise from my own experience, and the experiences of my retired friends, that there are some things we really should do to maximise our happiness after we finish working. So here are my ten tips to increase the chances that you’ll be happy when you retire:

1.    Establish routines of time and place.  You probably had to do this when you were working. Even if you didn’t, familiar routines don’t stop you from being spontaneous as well. Routines help you to do daily chores on auto-pilot, and they free up your psychic energy to do something different each day.

2.    Keep improving those time management skills you learned at work. You don’t need to be over-strict about it now you’ve retired, but calculate mentally how much time you have each day, and how long you can devote to each of the things you enjoy doing. And know your body clock. Each of us has a different period of the day when we’re at our best.

3.    Get plenty of sleep. For most of us that means at least seven or eight hours on a regular basis.  Try going to bed at the same time each night. In addition to enough sleep, take time out to rest. As we get older, we need to do this just to keep our energy levels up to the mark. 

4.    Be mindful about everything you do each day. Enjoy or learn to enjoy everything you do, and however pleasant or unpleasant it is.                                                                            

5.    Have a clear idea of what you really enjoy doing, not what other people want you to do. You will have more quality time to spend with your partner and attend to each other’s needs, but don’t crowd each other out. That can spell relationship difficulties. But what do you really want to do? It can be anything from reading a book to going for a country walk. You decide what to do and when you are going to do it.

6.    Eat wisely. Don’t skip meals. Make sure your diet is reasonably low-fat and don’t binge on carbs: they put on weight.  Include five portions of fruit and green vegetables each day. Drink alcohol in moderation. It’s ok sometimes to have a small glass of red wine with your dinner but aim for at least three alcohol-free days each week.

7.    Make time for regular exercise every week. Depending on the state of your health and fitness, go swimming or visit the gym for at least half and hour or an hour three times a week. If you can’t manage that, try vigorous walking for 30 minutes to an hour each day. Get outdoors and enjoy your surroundings. You now have more time to observe the people and places around you. Regular exercise will help you sleep better and simply make you feel good.

8.    Learn something new. It could be a degree course if you’re feeling ambitious; or a new language (I’ve taken up Portuguese), new knowledge or a new skill.  Take up something you really enjoy learning, for its own sake, not because you have to do it.

9.    Spend time with people and make new friends.  Actively seek out new friendships with people of all ages. Keeping up-to-date with people and events around you is particularly important at our stage of life. Social media provide excellent opportunities for this as well as being a source of new friends. But make sure you have some face-to-face communication with people every day, especially if you live alone. And they don’t need to be friends. People who serve you in a supermarket, café or restaurant, or even people who ring your doorbell will do (be careful here, but not too suspicious!)

   

1      Be positive! Try to see the good in yourself, in other people and in things that happen around you, however hard it may be at times. Take the long view, and don’t let setbacks set you back for ever. Be thankful for what you have and can do, not resentful about what you don’t have or fail to do. Try to eradicate negative thinking; it can be done with practice.

Maybe you’re already doing some of these things, but there may be some you’re neglecting. I find they all help build up confidence in myself as a retiree. And hopefully, they will help you to have a long and happy retirement.    

David Wilson is practising at being retired. He lives in York, England.

©David Wilson   May 2019             

Give them a chance for goodness sake!

Last Saturday the women of the world were on the march. Wherever you look, either on the mainstream media, or online blogs, you read about a lot of angry people who don't want Theresa May or her Brexit, and Donald Trump or his wall. Some of the online comments I've read are, and I'm afraid there's only one word for it: hate-filled. These reactions worry me more than Donald Trump or Brexit themselves because they show me a world where many people are simply reacting emotionally to things they don't like. And they're not just reacting to ideas; they're reacting to the people who hold these ideas.  If you don't agree with someone, they're just plain wrong. If you don't like what somebody says, make fun of them or even get out on the street and throw a few bricks through some shop windows. And what's really disturbing is that large sections of the English-speaking  encourage such behaviour media by whipping up their readers' emotions rather than attempting to help them understand the issues fully. I suppose it's all of a piece with the post-truth society, where facts are not always checked out, and where they don't matter much anyway. What's important is what I feel, and if you feel differently, then I'm not even going to listen to you, mate.

Why is the world so angry just at present? Certainly, there's a lot that needs fixing. In the Western World there's an employment crisis, fuelled partly by unrestrained globalisation, but much more by changing patterns of work brought about by technological advances. There's a housing crisis, where young people are increasingly priced out of the market, while property owners want to keep the value of their assets. There are increasing inequality gaps between rich and poor, and between generations. And there's the ever-present threat of terrorism fuelled by extreme religious dogma and what amounts to almost guerilla warfare on the part of Islamic extremists.

 But above all, there's a massive identity crisis brought on largely by huge-scale migrations and enforced social and cultural shifts. Settled ways of life are being threatened and all around we are experiencing rapid change on an unprecedented scale.  It's a well-known that most of us feel threatened by change, and most of us need a certain level of cultural and social stability.  When these things are missing, we feel profoundly insecure and tend to look for ideologies with seemingly clear-cut solutions to our problems.

But ideologies are dangerous because they are often misused to stop people listening to other sides of the argument.  And ideologies can prevent us from feeling empathy with people who feel differently. Ideologies stop us from relating to the messy humanity of others,  from accepting that we make mistakes, and are far from perfect. In other words, they reduce our awareness of our common human nature that transcends barriers of race, age, social class, education and gender.

We live in an impatient world, too. We want to see results now or in a very short timescale. We will not wait.

I share many people's concerns about Brexit and Donald Trump. But both of these signal that changes are afoot; and changes there need to be on many fronts, both economic and social.

When he was asked about Donald Trump a few days ago, Pope Francis gave the answer that I think we should all give just at the moment:  'We will see what he does and judge accordingly. I prefer to wait and see'. I think we should reserve judgement on Brexit too, and just wait and see what happens. Who knows? we might get some pleasant surprises.

Surrounded by the past yet living in the present for the future

 

 

I've spent the last few days on holiday in Ireland. Although born and raised in England, my mother was Irish, and so I feel a strong sense of affinity with the place and its people; as do thousands of other exiles, and sons and grandsons of exiles, who wash up on its shores all year round in search of Irishness. It's a romantic place, that's for sure. And the people have a deserved reputation for hospitality and for being great talkers.

 

But like everywhere else, Ireland has its dark side. My father, who was a matter-of-fact sort of Englishmen, liked the Irish people he met, but could be dismissive of much that was Irish. He often criticised the Irish for living in the past. Back in the 1960s, the Ireland he encountered was a place where people beat the hell out of each other in the name of politics and religion. And yesterday, while visiting a museum in Dublin, I was struck by how many Irish writers of the past could only live in exile and love their country from a distance.

 

I know of few other places where you can spend your days among the ghosts of the past. Romantic Ireland, beloved of the tourists, thrives on this reality. Whether it's the Orangemen in the north with their marching season and memorials to King Billy and the Protestant succession, or the reminders of political rebellion and national self-determination in the Republic, you are confronted at every turn by two parallel societies characterised by a strong awareness of their own history. But how does that impact on their present? And how does historical awareness equip the two Irelands to face their future? 

 

Fron the outset, it must be said that there is considerable benefit to be gained from living in places where the past is so ready available.  An interest in the people, events and beliefs who lived before us feeds our natural intellectual curiosity. It stimulates our imagination, and allows us to escape from the stress and strains of our everyday here-and-now. In this sense, contemplating history can be an inexpensive form of therapy, a healthy from of escape. Respect for what was done in times gone by can give us a balanced perspective on current trends and where we need to go in the future, both collectively and individually. Places in the world which lack a sense of history can feel rootless in the present, and uncertain about which direction to take in the future.

 

But too much history can be oppressive. It can weigh down on us like the rock weighed down on Sisyphus, who you will remember, was condemned to push his burden up the mountain till it rolled to the bottom again, and so on for ever. Too much history can make us avert our gaze from dealing with the present, or making the necessary preparations to create our future. History-oriented folk often commit the cardinal sin of idealising the past.  Living with too many ghosts can make us incurably romantic. And the ghosts invariably disappoint. Because historical ambitions so often end in failure, whether it's the powerful losing their power, or the rich their money and influence. It may be a cliche, but it's true that everything changes, and like the successors of Ozymandias, "Look on my works, ye mighty and despair!" Historical inebriation can push us over into cynicism and a generalised feeling of discontent. Is that why Ireland has always been a land of mass emigration and continues to be so?

 

These were my thoughts as I roamed Ireland last week. In the Ulster countryside I drove past the flags and the bunting. I arrived in Dublin to do pilgrimage to both history and literature. But for the few hours I shared the life of its people, north and south, I was also cheered by another picture I saw: a vibrant present-day Ireland of global travellers, making full use of the opportunities new technology gives us for communicating with each other. I met positive young people keen to learn English and make their own future; people bent on creating a better world, and above all enjoying themselves in many different ways. All this in the context of a troubled history. Or should I say, in spite of that history? I leave it to you, the reader, to be the final arbitor of that.  

 

 

 

 

Hay ÁNGELES entre nosotros

Hay ÁNGELES entre nosotros
Antes creía en ello, pero ahora lo SÉ con toda seguridad.

Nos protegen y nos cuídan.

Hace unas pocas semanas, una idea rondaba mi cabeza. "La vida es como un puente sobre un río". El río puede ser largo y ancho, da igual, cada vida es como un puente que lo cruza. Algunos puentes pueden ser grandes y robustos, otros pequeños y débiles, pueden ser de mil formas, colores o maneras... Pero mientras algunos cruzan el río en el tramo más estrecho, otros continúan, a su lado, por el tramo largo.
No sabemos cómo es la parte del río por la que cruza nuestro puente, pero sí sabemos cómo hacer que cada paso sea maravilloso para las personas que nos rodean mientras caminan por sus puentes. Cada día es lo más valioso que tenemos y debemos de hacer lo mejor para que también lo sea para todos los demás... ¿Qué sentido tiene pensar en el futuro si eso significa olvidarse del presente, de aquí y ahora?



Gracias, Dios, por los Ángeles que me he encontrado y me encuentro en esta vida.

Some thoughts on the Great British Freeze of 2010

When icicles hang by the wall
And Dick the shepherd blows his nail,
And Tom bears logs into the hall,
And milk comes frozen home in pail;
When blood is nip't and ways be foul,
Then nightly sings the staring owl,
Tu-whoo!
Tu-whit! Tu-whoo! A merry note!
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.

When all around the wind doth blow,
And coughing drowns the parson's saw,
And birds sit brooding in the snow,
And Marian's nose looks red and raw;
When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl -
Then nightly sings the staring owl
Tu-whoo!
Tu-whit! Tu-whoo! A merry note!
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.

from: Love's Labour's Lost (circa 1593) by William Shakespeare


1593 vs 2010

That was England in 1593. How much things have changed since then! With the central heating turned up full blast you're not going to see many icicles hanging by the wall in your average British house these days.

No self-respecting shepherd calls himself Dick today (for obvious reasons!) It's more likely to be Ricky or Rick.

And as for Tom bearing logs into the hall, it's a non-starter. Nowadays you're probably living in a smokeless zone which prohibits the burning of wood in a built-up area. No logs, I'm afraid!

Everybody knows that milk doesn't come in pails. Any primary schoolchild will tell you that it comes in cartons from the supermarket.

When was the last time you heard an owl? In Britain at least, they're an endangered species.

Pots no longer need to be keeled; we've got microwaves.

One image I really like in this poem. It's Joan being literally covered in animal fat, a tool of her trade as a cook. But I bet she smelt awful!

Livesimply

Back in 2005 anti-poverty campaigners in Ireland and the UK joined forces to set up the Make Poverty History campaign. Their aim was to challenge the structural injustices that keep people in poverty with particular regard for those living in the Third World.

In the last twelve months the ‘credit crunch’ and now the reality of global recession are bringing a greater degree of relative poverty to many in the developed world, and making many more of us aware that we have been worshipping at the idol of consumerism for too long. A long period of global recession is a good time for us to look at ourselves and re-assess our values with regard to material wealth.

The Livesimply project aims to do precisely this and on a wide canvas. Of course this is no new idea. Our Lord preached the parable about Dives and Lazarus, and St Ambrose wrote “You are not making a gift of what is yours to the poor, but you are giving them back what is theirs…..The earth belongs to everyone, not to the rich.”

Spearheaded by the Catholic charity Cafod, Livesimply arose from a desire to celebrate the 40th anniversary of Paul VI’s 1967 encyclical Populorum Progressio (On the Development of Peoples). A key idea in this encyclical is that “God intended the earth and everything in it for the use of all human beings and peoples.”

The project will run until 2009 and has already attracted huge support. Its website http://www.livesimply.org.uk/ explains that its principal objective is to encourage life with three Ss: “to look hard at our lifestyles, and to choose to live simply, sustainably and in solidarity with the poor.” In this way, we will be able to create a world in which human dignity is respected and everyone can reach their full potential.

It is evident that the Livesimply movement ties in with a number of other projects which focus on sustainable lifestyles. It also connects with the now-familiar notion that the world’s natural resources will soon run out altogether if we do not make globally concerted efforts to respect the natural world God has given us. As Bishop Crispian Hollis has remarked, “Poverty, exploitation and degradation of the environment are inextricably linked”. Nick Clegg, leader of the UK’s Liberal Democrat Party reminds us of our obligation to future generations when he says that “it is vital we think about the generations that will follow us, and take care of the planet they will inherit.” Livesimply is, in fact, part of a huge network of movements and project groups that are attempting to raise awareness of the need to take action on preserving the world’s resources. Many of these take their initial inspiration from Christian organisations, but are open to men and women of all faiths and none. Examples from the UK are the Christian Ecology Link, Church Action on Poverty and Operation Noah.

Some object that a campaign to live frugally and use natural resources sparingly is a recipe for global economic disaster. Supporters of this view hold that it is a continuous increase in consumption which makes the world go round, and that there is an inherent contradiction between capitalism and the proponents of ‘green’ ideology. For them a sustained increase in consumer demand makes for a wealthier world. But they are wrong. The issue is: “At what medium- and long-term price?” On the website Why Business Needs Ecology Robert Kennedy Jr. argues from his own experience with the General Electric Company on the Hudson River. In his article How People Saved their River he talks about the pollution they left behind and how it left Port Edward and Hudson Falls poverty-stricken and without a future.

Kennedy draws the obvious conclusion: “Good environmental policy is identical to good economic policy…..We can generate an instantaneous cash flow and the illusion of a prosperous economy, but our children are going to pay for our joy-ride with polluted landscapes, poor health and huge clean-up costs that are going to amplify over time and which they’ll never be able to pay.”

Livesimply urges us to think again about how we consume on all levels, both collective and personal. It challenges every individual to think hard about how best they can put into practice a form of living which respects the three Ss. A page on their website presents the LiveSimply promises. Melosa D’sousa states her pledge in these words: “I will give all of my old or unwanted clothes and things to charity instead of throwing them away, but I want 15 other people to join me”. Another pledge runs as follows: “I will NOT print from my computer unless absolutely necessary, but I want 10 other people to join me.”

Livesimply emphasizes the paradox that its goals cannot be reached by individuals working in isolation, yet commitment needs to start with the individual. The promises made by its supporters include an invitation to others to show solidarity by aigning up to the same pledge, and to set a deadline in order to heighten the sense of urgency.

Make Poverty History was a successful movement and had support from a wide range of public figures including Gordon Brown, the UK prime minister. The Livesimply campaign deserves even greater support. If we are to heed what some economists say, the world turned a corner in 2008 with the continuing downturn in global prosperity. Many more of us may soon be forced to think about what living simply means, and to do something about it.

We may not, in fact, have much time left to establish new habits.